You Have One Ugly Fireplace

Is your fireplace just bare bones ugly? Well, let's spend a few weekends and put some lipstick on that pig! To start (if you go with what I put in my illustration), you would take an angle grinder and masonry wheel to every inch of brick to remove the surface and expose the nice, clean brick that's under any grime or paint. No need to make it smooth, the roughed up surface will allow the thinset to get a real good hold. When done use a shop vac to pull all the dust off the bricks...and the rest of the house.

Set the black marble tiles on the hearth first, because mantle pieces sit on top of it. With marble the grout lines are very thin, 1/16" or so with square edges. That means you need to pay close attention to the edges and get them nice and flat. For extra fun you can bull nose the outside edges with a grinder and polishing wheels made just for this purpose. On a fireplace I would suggest using a modifier in the thinset. Buy it -- follow the instructions.

Now for the woodwork. Assuming you have a bit of experience in finish trimwork and a good compound miter saw (preferably with pre-set angles for crown moulding), I'll still try to keep stuff somewhat simple with a very classy end result. Draw a picture or print mine out for that matter. Get some of your basic measurements and head down to a home improvement wallet drainer that carries a good selection of oak trim.

Tip: If you have never cut crown moulding before, add two things to your list. First, a book on crown moulding. Second, a piece of the cheapest crown they carry. See if they have some damaged stuff. Play around with that stuff for a bit. You'll find this far less expensive than returning for more oak after you blew that cut! Thank me later.

Install a simple framework using good anchors that expand in the hole. When the bolt is tightened be sure it is level, square and secure!

Remember, I am assuming you can do nice trimwork! It's really not hard if you make exact, precise measurements, make your marks with a sharp pencil and can hit your marks when you cut. Always note the side of "the line" the blade needs to be or you just lost 1/8" and that's enough to scrap a piece of oak.

Stick it all together with a brad gun and a little wood glue, but don't put the finish on just yet!

After all the woodwork is in place, get a big pile of nice, flat rock (find it for free or buy it), mix up some thinset (with a modifier) and start putting them where they look good. After that has fully cured, a black grout applied with a grout bag looks perfect with the black marble. There are also products which will add a great shine to the stones and grout.

Now that you're done slopping mud all over, you can clean, fill nail holes and finish all that sweet looking oak.

Do you think the in-laws will notice anything different?